Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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