my phone cant type all the emotion im having
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
