Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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