As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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