i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
