You just made me feel so damn special
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
