Little spoons don't ask big questions
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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