So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
