Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
