Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
