I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
