It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
