when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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