Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
did you just send me my own nude
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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