The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im holly from the hills drunk
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
