i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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