So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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