I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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