Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize