dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
