Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
