seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
