turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
