And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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