I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
