yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
