i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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