so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
