do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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