No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
