I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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