i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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