She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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