Are we in a gay sports bar?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
