Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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