Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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