Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
