I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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