he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
