Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
