my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
