Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
