yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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