chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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