elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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