none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
