it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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