Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
