My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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