her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
