Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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