SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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