I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
