whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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