Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
