I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
