I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
