"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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