theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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