90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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